Transformers are Cock Blockers
With the news of Megan Fox not being in the third install of Transformers I was saddened but not shocked. While at work today, my fellow corporate zombies and I had a little chat about this turn of events over our daily feed. I will not go into details, other than to say that a deeper understanding of this soon to be trilogy was formed in my mind. So as to not keep you in suspense about what I realized, just go back and re-read the title of this post. Now let me explain. Every time Megan Fox makes an entrance on the screen, it is set up like an intro to a 70’s porno. Bow-chic-a-wow-wo music plays, Shia comes into scene and then…… F-ing NOTHING! They move on to what ever non-plot the movie has in store for us. Why do they move on? Not because Megan has a midget thumb (although a good reason, Freak!), it’s because they have a third wheel, a stupid Transformer. Nothing kills the “I don’t have any money to pay you for this ride but I think we can work something out mood” faster than a metal man vacantly staring at you. Think I’m wrong? Just go out and get a toy Transformer and place it on your headboard while you try to get it on. Bumble Bee will be right there just staring down on you. If you are not some freaky nerd you will quickly see how the “uncanny valley” works.
Third Wheel, Aaaaaawkward!
Enough said, Falco out.
Tags: Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf, Third wheel, Transformers, Transformers 2, Transformers 3, Uncanny Valley