So I got another acupuncture treatment today. It’s really the best nap I’ve had in… well, since my last appointment. I’m trying to stave off round two of this cold, you see, and after spending 2 1/2 weeks down and out last time, I’ll do anything to not relapse. So The Cold 2: Electric Boogaloo will go straight to the Walmart $1.00 DVD bin, where incidentally, I got my brother the high quality movie King of Kung Fu as a gag gift. Be gone, sickies. I reject you and your ass face! Dear Acupuncture gods, please make me feel better soon.
OMG! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you all this! A feel good story about the last time I went to the acupuncturist. My lil sis (you remember her best as Highbeam_) was visiting from out of town. I took her along and convinced her to pop her acu-cherry. While I waited for her session to end, who should come waltzing in to the office but none other than my fav relative Auntie B. I told her that Lil Sis was in the back room and she went from zero to excitement in 0.5 seconds. “Let’s go back there!” She opened the door and woke up sis. Here’s the convo that followed.
AB: Hey! How’s it going?
LS: Wha? Um, this is great! I’m having the most incredible experience!
AB: Did you have an orgasm?
Me: Whoa. What? Hold up, can you do that? Cuz, I’ve been going about this the wrong way.
LS: I didn’t know that was an option.
AB: Well, I wish it was. Because then I’d have acupuncture 4-5 times a day!
BRLGHEH! No! That is not acceptable. TMI, Auntie B, TMI. I just threw up in my mouth. You are a second mother to me! And I do not want to imagine my mother, aunt or any other relative doing whatever or having whatever! In fact, I don’t want to imagine ANYONE on the planet doing it. Y’all already know that I’m prone to nightmares. And I hate throwing up. Also, stop telling me things!