Melt your God Damn CHEESE!
I feel I can consider myself lucky, during my life, the Fast Food industry has only let me down a handful of times.
For some of you, my problems are “First World” & have stopped reading by now. For the rest of you, I know you understand me and my 99 problems so, read on while I change an industry.
My very first let down was the “Wendy’s Incident.” This happened when I was very young and I’m still not ready to blog about it. The short of this story is; I have not eaten in a Wendy’s since I was 8yrs old and probably never will again.
The next crushing blow hit me when Mc Donald’s removed the #2 combo meal (2 cheese burgers, fries & a drink) from their menu. I had been ordering this combo meal since I was old enough to make my voice heard. I know that they have brought back this combo and it’s the #4 meal now but WHATEVER!
Then, Burger King changed their fries to make them more appealing and healthy. I think that is all I need to say about this.
Shortly after that, Hollywood got all uppity about Fast Food and ruined it for the rest of the world. This caused Mc Donald’s to get rid of the Super Size meal option and add salads to their menu. For as long as I live, I will never let this offense to me from Morgan Spurlock go! By the way, fast food, good job at buckling to the peer pressure of a bunch of morally corrupt celebs and anti-industry lobbyist (bullies). Neither you nor they have the right to tell me how big my butt can be!
Finally, in a cost and time cutting move, no one in the fast food industry is taking the 15 seconds to melt the God Damn cheese on my burger anymore! I am sick and tired of getting my #4 with no mustard, no onions, extra-extra pickles and having the burger be cold from the cold buns, the cold pickles, the cold ketchup and the Cold Cheese! All I’m asking for here is 15sec. You used to give me those seconds with a pimply smile and enough fries to have some left over to feed the sea gulls with. Fast Food, I don’t eat you because you’re fast or cheap, I eat you because I love you. I can go to Denny’s or Steak and Shake and get a $5 burger meal with melted cheese now, but I don’t. However, if things don’t change for the better with your burgers, fast food, I may grow to love those other burger providers and only occasionally eat fast food for the nostalgia of it. I know I’m not alone here so, if you want to fix this situation between us, you can do 1 of 2 things.
1: Take those 15sec. and melt my God Damn cheese.
Or
2: You can sell the breakfast sandwich I am about to describe to you. You don’t need to name it after me, just give me one-a-day for the rest of my life as a “Thank You” for giving you a blockbuster menu option.
Take your current breakfast sandwich offering and… replace the English muffin, bagel croissant, pancake or biscuit with two hash brown patties of similar shape and size. Then, depending on the meat in the sandwich add Ketchup and pickles.
You are Welcome!
Herr Falco
Tags: #2, #4, 99 problems, Burger King, Dennys, Doubble Cheese burger meal, fat, First world problems, Hollywood, Mc Donalds, Morgan Spurlock, Steak & Shake, Steak and Shake, Super size, Super Size Me
I like this post, enjoyed this one appreciate it for putting up.
Thanks Veronica.
Note: I have contacted the Fast food restraints I like (Not you Wendy’s) and posted the following message in their contact section. We will see if they contact me back or make my Awesome sandwich. Either way, I will let you know what happens next.
Customer service representative and the Greater company in general,
I am contacting you because of a blog that I just wrote about your current level of food preparation. If you read through my many blog posts, you will note that they are all snarky and meant to be humorous. I ask that you look past the snarkyness of my current blog posting about the fast food industry and understand the serious message that I am trying to get across to my readers. My message is about how you currently serve your food and how that affects my eating experience. I enjoy your food and want to continue to enjoying it so, please make the appropriate changes to how you serve your food.
Thanks, Wilhelm
P.s. I am also very serious about my breakfast sandwich suggestion.
My blog post: http://www.snarkward.com/2013/01/08/melt-your-god-damn-cheese/
Have you read any good books lately?
Emily, I don’t (can’t) read.