A couple of weeks ago, I bought tickets for two friends and I to hear David Sedaris read from some of his works. We arrived at the show and got seated with a few minutes to spare, only to find out that we were apparently really at Cedar Point. Confusion ensued. Let me explain. At [...]
The other day, Mama Furioso joined me as I took my dog for a walk. All that crazy makes her walk pretty fast, so MamaF is an ideal walking companion. All that crazy also makes her say awkward things, which makes it not so ideal. Observe: MF: Okay, so I’ve decided…I’m going to be honest [...]
Fraulein Furioso: GDuder, whenever you imitate someone talking, they always have a lisp. No matter what, male or female, always with a lisp. What’s up with that? GDuder: I don’t know. I guess that’s just how I view the world. With a lisp. Facebook
Last Friday, I was out with my besties Tita B, Herr Falco, Resident German Ursula, and Ursula’s man. He needs a name…oh, I know! He shall henceforth be known as Officer Mallard, because he is a police officer, and he likes to decorate with mallards. Anyway, we were waiting for our dinners, and the conversation turned (as it is wont to do) to how my job search is going. I like to wrap up these talks post-hasty, especially when I am out to dinner, because it makes me feel like I really shouldn’t be out to dinner.
Scene: Separate living rooms, separate couches. Near Valentine’s Day. Fraulein Furioso and Tita Betchausen are having a conversation via Google Chat about how Fraulein is angry with someone. FF: I would slap her face if she were here right now. TB: I bet you would. FF: Happy Slapentine’s Day! TB: Ha! Excellent. You should take [...]
Today I had to go to the unemployment office. It’s not, as you might imagine, my favorite place. The chairs are stained, and there’s a weird smell. When I sat down, there was only one other person there, a woman a bit younger than me. After a bit, a larger gentleman huffed in and threw [...]
Friends, I have many colorful characters in my life that keep things interesting. Today I’m going to tell you about my neighbor. He calls himself Big Daddy, so that’s what I’ll call him here, too. The first thing you need to know about BD is that he is awesome. He keeps my driveway cleared of [...]
So this one time, Tita, Sassmouth, and I went out for drinks and dinner with a couple of other ladies. We met at a local Mexican restaurant that is known for….well, for being a Mexican restaurant. I mean, it’s pretty good. I’ve never had a bad food experience there. But you guys, there is a [...]
Recently, Tita B and I were nerding out over how much we love Buffy and Angel. So for you Whedon newbies out there (or dorks like us who just can’t get enough), we decided to create a special alphabet based on our favorite stories. We welcome your additions in the comments! A is for Angel/Anya/Andrew/Adam/the [...]
Pretty much all of us here at Snarkward have had some atrocious cashier experiences. In fact, pretty much everyone I know has. That’s part of why this site exists – so we can creatively complain about these experiences, make fun of those involved, and allow you minions to nod in commiseration and add your two [...]