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I was going to write this week about my new mustache- Sir Georg El Mustachio but breaking news has just come through that I now need to write about. The owners of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (PBR), in conjunction with someone else, have purchased Hostess, more importantly Twinkies! This is the answer to all my [...]
So I experienced my first car accident this week. Not really the first time I’ve been in one, just the first one where I was driving. It was a slow-moving collision between my 4,000 lb car and the cable barrier that divides the highway median via Winter’s ice. Which reminds me…Hey, Michigan. I love you [...]
So I was talking to my sister over the holidays. And our conversation went a little like this. Her: We finally got our Christmas tree up. Me: Oh, good. Ours went up Thanksgiving weekend. Her: What theme is yours? Me: Mmm, Christmas themed… Her: Oh, we have a Harry Potter tree. Me: With a cloak [...]
Every year like clockwork I take another step closer to wearing diapers and eating baby food again. My body knows this and never misses its yearly reminder about how old I actually am. This morning was no exception. During what I like to call the “This Shit better be good hour”, I rolled over onto [...]
If you are here because the Mayan apocalypse did not happen as reality TV and the conspiracy web sites told us it would, let this be known. I am making no apologies for anything I may have said in the last 10 days. There will also be no mea culpa for my prepping actions. Furthermore, [...]
So here it is, my last day on earth and I have been awake all day trying to make just the right flavor of Kool-Aid. Not to mix with poison, jerk store! Some a-hole left a bottle of cranberry vodka at my house and I can’t bring myself to waste it. I am also celebrating [...]
While adding to the liquor content of my bug-out bag I decide that it was stupid to leave everything that I had here. I can’t fit all the crap I need into the 5 garbage bags I have left so, I will make my own utopian society in my basement (bunker). First off, I will [...]
Ok, Friends, let me get the requisite festival greetings out of the way. Happy Holidays! Peace and good will toward everyone! Well, almost everyone. Happy Festivus is also approaching, and I feel I must air some grievances. Don’t worry, it’s all holiday related. The worst part for me, during this time, is enduring other shoppers [...]
Last night while I was laying in bed wondering if I had packed enough liquor in my bug-out bag, I had the disturbing thought “What if 12-21-12 is not the right day?”, could the Mayans have gotten it wrong? This single thought made me get up and walk right to my thinking room, the toilet. [...]
After my last post, I realized things are not all that bad. I mean, we are all still going to die in 5 days, but it could be worse. Yesterday, while drinking alone, I watched a crap-ton (official measurement) of prepper shows and decided that I could live through the coming apocalypse, at least for [...]